We all want our children to become
leaders .
Whether they spend the bulk of their
days in the mailroom or the corner
office, we want our children to grow to
be courageous, passionate and authentic.
We want their actions to inspire other
people to be their best, to get more out of
life than they ever thought possible.
As parents and caretakers of children,
their path to leadership is in our hands.
We can model and teach the skills that
will equip them to lead themselves and
others in this hyper-competitive world,
or we can allow them to fall victim to the
kind of thinking that makes them slaves
to the status quo.
It’s a big responsibility—but when isn’t
being a parent a massive responsibility?
The beauty of building children into
leaders is that it’s the little things we do
every day that mold them into the people
they’ll become.
Focus on the eight actions below, and
you’ll build leadership in your children
and yourself.
*Model Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Emotional intelligence is that
“something” in each of us that is a bit
intangible; it affects how we manage
behavior, navigate social complexities
and make personal decisions that
achieve positive results.
Children learn emotional intelligence
from their parents, plain and simple. As
your children watch you every day, they
absorb your behavior like a sponge.
Children are particularly attuned to your
awareness of emotions, the behavior you
demonstrate in response to strong
emotions and how you react and
respond to their emotions.
EQ is one of the biggest drivers of
success in leadership positions.
TalentSmart has tested more than a
million people and found that EQ is
responsible for 58% of a leader’s job
performance. Likewise, 90% of top-
performing leaders have high EQs.
Most people do very little to develop
their EQ growing up. Just 36% of the
people we tested are able to accurately
identify their emotions as they happen.
Children who develop a high level of EQ
carry these skills into adulthood, and this
gives them a leg up in leadership and in
life.
*Don’t Obsess About Achievement
Parents get sucked into obsessing about
achievement because they believe that
this will make their children into high-
achievers. Instead, fixating on
achievement creates all sorts of problems
for kids. This is especially true when it
comes to leadership, where focusing on
individual achievement gives kids the
wrong idea about how work gets done.
Simply put, the best leaders surround
themselves with great people because
they know they can’t do it alone.
Achievement-obsessed children are so
focused on awards and outcomes that
they never fully understand this. All they
can see is the player who’s handed the
MVP trophy and the celebrity CEO who
makes the news—they assume it’s all
about the individual. It’s a rude
awakening once they discover how real
life works.
*Don’t Praise Too Much
Children need praise to build a healthy
sense of self-esteem. Unfortunately,
piling on the praise doesn’t give them
extra self-esteem. Children need to
believe in themselves and to develop the
self-confidence required to become
successful leaders, but if you gush every
time they put pen to paper or kick a ball
(the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality),
this creates confusion and false
confidence. Always show your children
how proud you are of their passion and
effort; just don’t paint them as
superstars when you know it isn’t true.
*Allow Them To Experience Risk And Failure
Success in business and in life is driven
by risk. When parents go overboard
protecting their children, they don’t
allow them to take risks and reap the
consequences. When you aren’t allowed
to fail, you don’t understand risk. A
leader can’t take appropriate risks until
he or she knows the bitter taste of failure
that comes with risking it all and coming
up short.
The road to success is paved with failure.
When you try to shield your children
from failure in order to boost their self-
esteem, they have trouble tolerating the
failure required to succeed as a leader.
Don’t rub their face in it either. Children
need your support when they fail. They
need to know you care. They need to
know that you know how much failure
stings. Your support allows them to
embrace the intensity of the experience
and to know that they’ll make it through
it all right. That, right there, is solid
character building for future leaders.
leaders .
Whether they spend the bulk of their
days in the mailroom or the corner
office, we want our children to grow to
be courageous, passionate and authentic.
We want their actions to inspire other
people to be their best, to get more out of
life than they ever thought possible.
As parents and caretakers of children,
their path to leadership is in our hands.
We can model and teach the skills that
will equip them to lead themselves and
others in this hyper-competitive world,
or we can allow them to fall victim to the
kind of thinking that makes them slaves
to the status quo.
It’s a big responsibility—but when isn’t
being a parent a massive responsibility?
The beauty of building children into
leaders is that it’s the little things we do
every day that mold them into the people
they’ll become.
Focus on the eight actions below, and
you’ll build leadership in your children
and yourself.
*Model Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Emotional intelligence is that
“something” in each of us that is a bit
intangible; it affects how we manage
behavior, navigate social complexities
and make personal decisions that
achieve positive results.
Children learn emotional intelligence
from their parents, plain and simple. As
your children watch you every day, they
absorb your behavior like a sponge.
Children are particularly attuned to your
awareness of emotions, the behavior you
demonstrate in response to strong
emotions and how you react and
respond to their emotions.
EQ is one of the biggest drivers of
success in leadership positions.
TalentSmart has tested more than a
million people and found that EQ is
responsible for 58% of a leader’s job
performance. Likewise, 90% of top-
performing leaders have high EQs.
Most people do very little to develop
their EQ growing up. Just 36% of the
people we tested are able to accurately
identify their emotions as they happen.
Children who develop a high level of EQ
carry these skills into adulthood, and this
gives them a leg up in leadership and in
life.
*Don’t Obsess About Achievement
Parents get sucked into obsessing about
achievement because they believe that
this will make their children into high-
achievers. Instead, fixating on
achievement creates all sorts of problems
for kids. This is especially true when it
comes to leadership, where focusing on
individual achievement gives kids the
wrong idea about how work gets done.
Simply put, the best leaders surround
themselves with great people because
they know they can’t do it alone.
Achievement-obsessed children are so
focused on awards and outcomes that
they never fully understand this. All they
can see is the player who’s handed the
MVP trophy and the celebrity CEO who
makes the news—they assume it’s all
about the individual. It’s a rude
awakening once they discover how real
life works.
*Don’t Praise Too Much
Children need praise to build a healthy
sense of self-esteem. Unfortunately,
piling on the praise doesn’t give them
extra self-esteem. Children need to
believe in themselves and to develop the
self-confidence required to become
successful leaders, but if you gush every
time they put pen to paper or kick a ball
(the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality),
this creates confusion and false
confidence. Always show your children
how proud you are of their passion and
effort; just don’t paint them as
superstars when you know it isn’t true.
*Allow Them To Experience Risk And Failure
Success in business and in life is driven
by risk. When parents go overboard
protecting their children, they don’t
allow them to take risks and reap the
consequences. When you aren’t allowed
to fail, you don’t understand risk. A
leader can’t take appropriate risks until
he or she knows the bitter taste of failure
that comes with risking it all and coming
up short.
The road to success is paved with failure.
When you try to shield your children
from failure in order to boost their self-
esteem, they have trouble tolerating the
failure required to succeed as a leader.
Don’t rub their face in it either. Children
need your support when they fail. They
need to know you care. They need to
know that you know how much failure
stings. Your support allows them to
embrace the intensity of the experience
and to know that they’ll make it through
it all right. That, right there, is solid
character building for future leaders.
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